It’s Friday. I have something new for everyone.
This year, along with the albums I’m recording with City Rev Worship and Village Hymns, I have been doing some acoustic stuff for myself. The new share today is a song titled “Me and My Mind.”
I began writing this song on the turn of Flamingo Road and Oakland Park by the panthers stadium as I was attempting to get away from my mind. There have been many times in my life where driving was the action I tried to escape my thoughts. Well, thoughts just followed me there.
I wrote this song 2 weeks before I made one of the biggest decisions in my life. My father and I had worked together for 14 years in ministry. Together we were shepherds leading a church in Plantation, FL. God was shaking up things a bit and I was wrestling with strong feelings that God was changing my direction. I was a mess inside. I had 3 kids and 1 on the way. I was also dealing with a bit of anxiety. My mind became some of the worst company ever. I felt like I was fighting to hear the words of my Heavenly Father in the middle of a thought hurricane. I couldn’t wrangle this thought generator and cause it to submit.
While I was driving on Oakland and Flamingo, I started singing, “I find myself driving alone.” I sang that line until a melody came together. It wasn’t like I was happily singing, though—I was miserable. Parenting was hard. Marriage was hard. Anxiety was hard. Now throw in a career move. On June 26th, 2017, I finished this song back at my house. Throughout the years, I have sung this song when I am annoyed at my mind. What a gift it can be, as well as a curse. A few weeks after writing this song, I told my dad that God was calling me out and into something new. I just didn’t know where. City Rev Church became my story from then to now.
I have spent my life submitting my mind to the Lord. He has taught me how to think, how to fight, how to rest, how to delight. He has broken the stronghold of crippling anxiety and has given me tools to get through the onslaughts. I love the topic of depression and anxiety. I have sat down with many people to tell my story of darkness, demons, medicine, doctors, heart monitors, counseling, therapy, and the prayer of righteous people. My Dad has been one of my best friends through those hard seasons. Still is today.
Sometimes I write worship songs. Other times I write love songs. This time I wrote my thoughts on the mind. Read the lyrics below and then take a listen with the links I provided.
ME AND MY MIND
The worse company, stays frequently
I never have a moment, a moment to myself
The cruel memory, no apology
It’ll change the mood quicker, quicker than a spell
I find myself driving alone
I find myself driving alone
Searching for a place I could be
A quiet street in the calm of the night
I think I’m alone but it’s me and my mind
The sweet alibi could justify
Sometimes it rests when it is right
It rules devilish, dressed in the wool
Maybe I’ll stay, or maybe I’ll fight, I like to fight, fight
Sometimes It’s a friend, Most times it’s a fool
It’s burns like a star but looks like a jewel