Are you proud of me?

Car ride conversations with the Holy Spirit

“I know you love me, but are you proud of me?”

In my sojourning on this earth, I have found it easier to believe in God’s love for me than I have in him being proud of me. I know He loves me because he says it with a blood sacrifice of his only son. You must love something so great if you go to that measure. Although I won’t ever come close to understanding fully His love for me, I have found it much easier to accept than His pride over my life. 

My parents often said, “I’m so proud of you,” at a baseball game or after I played a concert. Having them proud of me held way more weight to my soul than their love. I knew they loved me—they had to. No matter what I did, I always knew I was loved. But there were times I didn’t make them proud, and this is where I think my theology with God becomes confused. When I was disrespectful, dishonoring, or embarrassed them in public, I knew they were not a proud parent of my behavior. Did they love me? Yes. Were they proud of me? Probably not.

The word proud carries some meaning and baggage. You see, I felt good behavior and being talented made my parents proud of me. In human relationships, being proud can be affected by circumstances. There definitely was a general pride my parents had over me, but there were many moments they were not proud of my behavior. This carries over in my God’s pride with me. I have felt for years that I was trying to get Him to be proud of me. I knew He loved me, but I surely didn’t make Him proud earlier when I sinned. If I can just hear the words, “I’m so proud of you Josh,” what that would do for my soul would be beyond comprehension. 

Yesterday morning I was asking the Lord this question in the car and this is what I believe the Holy Spirit said back to me. “How do you know God loves you?” I prayed back, “I know He loves me because God loves Jesus and I have believed in Jesus and scripture says that anyone who does this will have everlasting life with you. You love those who love Jesus—and I’m a lover of Him.” The Holy Spirit then stirred up thoughts in my head and asked, “If God’s love for you depends on the son, then wouldn’t Him being proud of you also depend on the son?” 

God is proud of Jesus. He speaks a word over him at baptism and at the transfiguration, saying, “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.” God is proud of Jesus. “But I’m in Jesus, so do I get to be a part of the Father’s pride over the son.” I believe this answer is yes. The Father loves me because He loves the son, and because He is proud of the son, He must be proud of me. I stand in the righteousness of Jesus, and therefore I am also standing in the pride of the Father. Jesus has shared His glory with me and nothing can take this away. 

God being proud of me is not dependent on my behavior, but the perfect behavior of the son. He is proud of Jesus and I stand in that “Well pleased” affirmation. This divine truth makes me love the son all the more. Jesus not only has shared the Father’s love with me, but also the Father’s approval with me. 

But when I sin, will He still be proud of me? 

He chastens those He loves and perfection never was the prerequisite for His pride, Jesus is. I understand the love of my God to be a sealed covenant with the blood of Jesus. God cannot lie and therefore He loves me because Jesus has made a way for me to enter His presence. He loves me through the son. He is proud of me through the son. What He is proud of is not my behavior and works, but the work of the Holy Spirit inside of me. He is proud to call me son because His Spirit has chosen to dwell in me. Jesus has brought me to the Father and said, “Father, this is Josh. He has believed in my death and resurrection. He is going to spend eternity with us in paradise now. Let us love him with an everlasting love.” 

What could I have done that would make Him proud of me? Nothing. He is proud of me because He is proud of the son, and I am in the son. So when I question again whether God is proud of me, I must respond with YES because of Jesus.